


Networking

by ScooterThyme



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Humor, Lucifans, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 04:42:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14609577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScooterThyme/pseuds/ScooterThyme
Summary: Jackson’s life did not flash before his eyes. What did, however, was an extremely uncomfortable image of himself trying to explain to his wife how his entire career had just been flushed down the toilet by a supposedly fictional character that threatened far more than his dignity.Or...When I'm stressed about the renewal status of a favorite show, I write meta about the main character threatening studio suits over it.





	Networking

**Author's Note:**

> I think we all need a little bit of humor right now, regardless of how meta it might be. Here's praying to the Devil for Season 4!! #RenewLucifer

The ex-Lord of Hell casually weaved through the morning traffic, as if every other driver were expected to make way for him. Many people frequently compared LA streets and freeways to Hell itself, but he knew better, and it seemed to give him an advantage. It didn’t take him but a few minutes to get through the Pass and into the edge of Burbank.

Turning into the Warner Brothers Studio lot, he stopped his Corvette at one of the gates. Of course, the guard was unfamiliar to him, but Lucifer Morningstar knew exactly what he was doing, and while he turned his accent down to about an eight, he turned the charm up to eleven.

“Hello!” he said brightly, waving as if absolutely nothing were out of the ordinary.

“Hey, Mr. Ellis! I thought you were out of town already…” The guard looked pleased to see him, although slightly confused.

“Oh yeah, I was, but had a change of plans. Just came back for an unscheduled meeting, you know how it goes.”

“Sure, sure, it’s that time of year around here. Good luck with renewal and all,” said the guard, smiling and tipping his fingers off the side of his head in a half-salute.

“Thank you very much! I’m sure it’ll be just fine,” said Lucifer, pulling the car forward when it was clear he was allowed to pass.

The guard behind him gave the slowest of double-takes. He was _sure_ that car hadn’t been moved from the lot recently, but he supposed he could be wrong. Maybe it was taken out during his break. Yeah, that had to be it.

 

* * *

 

Lucifer knew the lot well--he’d sealed many a deal here over the past few years, and more than a couple from visits long ago. His grin grew wider as he headed towards a particular office, and parked as inconspicuously as he could. He wasn’t worried about the car itself, more the inconvenience it might cause him if someone mistook it for another, and decided it wasn’t where it needed to be. It had happened before, and was an absolute nightmare to straighten out without far more explanation than people were ready to deal with.

He took one last glance in the mirror before moving forward with his plans. An amusing t-shirt with a random Devil character on it, comfortable jeans, fashionable sneakers, and large shades--he looked the part exactly, and he knew it. Letting his hair curl naturally had been a tragedy, he thought, but it was a small sacrifice in order to make things go as smoothly as possible. With a smirk, he strode casually over to the office.

The secretary in the lobby greeted him with enthusiasm.

“Tom! I thought you were supposed to be on vacation!”

“Yeah, change of plans! You know how it is this time of year--crazy, right?”

“Oh yeah, you don’t have to tell _me_. Came to discuss contracts, I assume?”

“Yes. I know it’s kind of a short notice, but I was hoping he might have a few minutes for me, maybe…?”

“Of course! I think he was just about to go on break, I’ll let him know you’re here. You can go right on back.” The secretary waved her hands, ushering ‘Tom’ to the offices that lay beyond the lobby.

Successfully in the door, in more ways than one, Lucifer turned both accent and charm back up to their usual fifteen.

“Thank you, _darling!_ ”

The secretary beamed, completely failing to suppress a giggle as he walked by.

  

* * *

 

It was almost pathetic how easily he did this, and made him wonder why he didn’t do it more often. Perhaps if he watched more TV regularly, it might be more of a priority. Normally, these kinds of shenanigans didn’t actually have anything important riding on the line, he just did it for amusement really, but this was a special exception to that rule.

Stopping just in front of a very different door than _Tom_ would have, Lucifer adjusted himself slightly, out of habit. Perhaps the outfit wasn’t his personal brand of go-to, but he was nothing if not an accomplished actor himself. The costume’s purpose had already been fulfilled, and now it didn’t matter at all. Lifting his chin slightly, he turned the door’s handle and stepped inside.

A portly, middle-aged man sat behind a moderately fancy desk, deep in concentration. His straw blond hair was beginning to thin, but otherwise age had been kind to him, and he had the sort of face that reminded everybody of some distant uncle. He all but jumped out of his skin when Lucifer appeared inside the doorway, and grasped his laptop in surprise when the door was closed.

“Tom! I didn’t expect you back so soon!”

Lucifer raised an eyebrow at him, and tilted his head ever so slightly, allowing the faintest glow of red to tinge his eyes.

“Oh s-s-shit...” the man stammered. His own pale eyes widened with realization.

“Hello, _Jackson_. It’s been a while now since we’ve had a chat, hasn’t it?” Lucifer very deliberately stepped towards Jackson, clasping his hands together behind him. It would’ve been an innocent gesture, had it been done by anyone other than the Devil himself.

“Y-yes! It’s good to see you! How’s, uh, how’s everything?”

“You know it’s pointless to play games with me, and you know I don’t bother coming here without a good reason.”

“Right, right, of course! W-w-what can I do for you today, Mr. Morningstar?” Jackson had lost what little cool he had to begin with, and he was fairly certain he was about to lose something else as well. His knuckles were now white from gripping the arms of his chair.

“Oh, it’s not so much about what you can do for _me_ , no, that’s just a bonus. It’s what you can do for _them_.” Lucifer had slowly made it all the way to Jackson’s desk now, towering over him.

“Them?” Jackson would swear that Lucifer’s grin had somehow gotten wider.

“The Luficans.”

“The Luci-- _OH_. What about them?”

“ _Well_ , I hear it’s renewal season in Hollywood. What I _haven’t_ heard is confirmation that my favorite show will be among the chosen. It’s getting a bit late now don’t you think, _Jackson_?” Lucifer pretended to nonchalantly gaze around the room, but took absolutely zero interest in anything he saw. “Wouldn’t want to disappoint all those devoted followers now, _would we_?”

Lucifer’s gaze snapped back, and he was somehow just mere inches from the other man’s nose. Jackson swallowed, hard. He was concentrating far too much on controlling his bladder than trying to come up with any kind of coherent answer.

Jackson’s life did not flash before his eyes. What did, however, was an extremely uncomfortable image of himself trying to explain to his wife how his entire career had just been flushed down the toilet by a supposedly fictional character that threatened far more than his dignity. While he couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment it happened, he knew he’d already given in. It didn’t even matter what the request actually was. The Devil’s eyes released Jackson’s, and the smaller man gave the tiniest sigh of relief.

Now half perched on the edge of the desk, Lucifer continued.

“I believe you are still in charge of the relevant numbers, correct?”

“Yes. But I’ve already sent the final report to the execs. It--”

“ _Have you_ , now?” Lucifer’s eyes bored into Jackson’s, with an expression of mock concern. “Have you _really?_ You’re sure there’s not a few more rating sources you might have forgotten to include? A few more polls, perhaps some of those little informal quizzes? I’m sure the busy execs have _far_ too much on their plate to do all the analyzing themselves these days. That’s why they have _you!_ ” A long and elegant hand gestured towards Jackson in emphasis.

It took him a good five seconds to actually process what Lucifer was implying.

“Oh. _Oh!_ Um, right, yeah, sure… I’m sure there were at least a couple I missed.” His hands shaking, he turned to his laptop, pulling up windows and links as if his life depended on it. He knew damned well that at least his career now did.

“There we go, that’s the spirit!” crowed the Devil sitting on his desk. “Now be mindful of that deadline, Jackson.”

“Yes, sir!” he replied with a squeak.

Lucifer rose and headed out, his grin much happier and less unsettling. He paused, peeking his head back in just before closing the door.

“As soon as the good news is announced, I’ll see to it that you receive some good news of your own. You’ve been _extremely_ helpful.”

The door closed, and Jackson let go of the breath he felt he’d been holding in for years. He could make this work. He knew what he was doing. Numbers had always been easy for him, and he knew exactly what to manipulate to get the results to look even more desirable than they already were…

Speaking of numbers, Jackson began to multitask, dialing up his wife on his desk phone as he hastily re-wrote his most recent report.

“Hey, honey? Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna make it for lunch this afternoon, something kind of came up. Oh, and, uh… could you maybe bring me by an extra pair of pants? No, no, I don’t really wanna talk about it right now, I just-- _yeah._ Thanks. Love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Update: Jackson has been fired. He was sent home early. Nobody's heard from him since.


End file.
